Liz · 2026 · Oil pastel on paper
I’m an extremely perceptive individual - some might even say psychic ha -and an artist. I’ve been painting people’s portraits for the past 20 years. I’ve guessed people’s stories, including those of complete strangers and friends, countless times, often with wild accuracy.
Whether I can paint people because I can read them, or read them because I can paint them, is still up for debate… I don’t claim to know what is real and I’m just a painter… this is what I believe to be true.
I’ve recognized signs of sexual abuse in people who had never told anyone. Friends were floored that I could sense what had happened to them, sometimes even who was involved and when. How many times have I heard, “I’ve never told anyone. Nobody knows!” Most of the time, people know. But the truth is buried so deep that they’ve managed to ignore the signs. Others sense things but are afraid of speaking up or saying something intense, so they say nothing, not realizing the victim may have been waiting for someone to finally acknowledge the truth for years.
I remember an ex-boyfriend whose family dynamics immediately struck me as deeply disturbing. I had this horrible feeling that his grandfather had sexually abused children and that his father was leading a secret double life under the guise of a humble, hardworking man. My suspicions were later supported by an insane amount of evidence. These people were protected by their families and even by victims who had become trapped in a system of lies, secrecy, and dissociation. Very few people have the courage or emotional capacity to even say what happened. Most remain silent out of fear, loyalty, or simply because they’ve become part of a story and a system that depends on their approval and silence. They become complicit. What fascinated me was that these people often exhibited varying degrees of dissociation, from mild to severe. They would also gravitate toward things that reflected the very truths they refused to acknowledge. The mother of this ex once told me her favorite show was The White Lotus, a series obsessed with secrecy, deception, and the lives people hide behind appearances. Its creator has spoken about growing up with a closeted father who lied to his mym, and how it influenced him and his work. This woman was living what I perceived as an eerily similar reality without ever acknowledging it to herself. Yet her taste in movies and TV betrayed her.
I watched some of my friends who had experienced abuse erase events that had just happened from their own memories and repeatedly gravitate toward very abusive or sociopathic people, sometimes sexual abusers, people hiding major parts of their identities, closeted men, or people struggling with sexual addictions. Not because they consciously wanted to suffer or repeat their trauma, but because those dynamics were familiar, and they attracted people on the same frequencies. What isn’t acknowledged repeats itself. It’s a law of the universe. Just like the sky is blue and John Mayer is talented.
In mystical Judaism, we talk about tikkun (soul repair), and I was told my soul profile indicates I’m a reflector. Sort of an empath who mirrors people’s light, but also their shadows. It’s a heavy task - starting with myself… - but I’m more and more convinced it’s true. And when confronted with those patterns, something fascinating happened: some would break in tears, recognize the truth, understand it, and begin to heal. They would be grateful that finally, someone, me, had told them what I sensed and given them permission to finally say what happened and be vulnerable. By acknowledging the truth, recognizing the patterns, and sharing their experiences with others, they would lose the weight they’d been carrying for so long. Traumatic amnesia would lift. Lies would dissolve. The truth is like the sun, nothing can escape it. All those dark feelings no longer had to metabolize and rot inside them. They became free. Others would suppress everything even further, retreat into an even deeper state of dissociation and denial, and drown in their own fragmented selves. Distractions, meds, and more lies.. Rinse and repeat. This is how transgenerational trauma perpetuates itself. People believe that walking away and starting fresh, as though nothing ever happened, will save them. But the very thing they refuse to confront ends up poisoning their entire lives. We are shaped by our environment. People suffering from severe dissociation often develop an overwhelming fear of shame and of being truly seen. What they need more than anything is safety and love. But when they find themselves in environments where performance is valued over authenticity, they shut down even further. Our society hands masks to everyone, and the most sensitive individuals often wear them to a fault, terrified of being perceived as weak, inadequate, or unworthy.
This is precisely what I see in both Liz and Billy.
Billy and Liz seem genuinely in love to me. I know the general opinion is that they’re both sociopaths, but I disagree. I do believe Liz suffers from severe mental health issues, particularly dissociation resulting from sexual abuse, something I felt I could see in her eyes long before it was confirmed in the documentary. As a result, she seems unable to fully connect with her own emotions or those of others. She lies, but I don’t believe she consciously intends to. She BELIEVES her lies. She could actually pass a lying test. I don’t think her intention was ever to deceive people, manipulate them, or make money. Quite the opposite: I see a woman who tried desperately to feel worthy and capable by playing roles after a traumatic rape. To empower herself, and escape herself. We all play roles to some extent. Disconnected people are simply better at it because their own identities have been so fragmented.
Did she behave terribly and hurt people along the way? Absolutely. Do these people deserve justice? Absolutely. But is there a fundamental difference between good and evil, between intentionally hurting people and hurting them without even realizing it? I believe there is. She lacks accountability, and her empathy is impaired. But I don’t believe she intended to cause the damage she caused. She is her own first victim. This woman hates herself. I also believe Liz could eventually experience genuine remorse through the love of her children later in life, because that relationship may offer her the most unconditional love she has ever experienced. Before that, I find it unlikely.
Billy strikes me as someone who experienced emotional neglect and possibly abuse growing up. I believe he fell for her because he recognized himself in her: sensitive, wounded, curious, intelligent, and desperate to feel seen. My read on him is that he grew up under tremendous pressure, and that his wealth came with unspoken obligations. He seems far more capable of consciously lying, expressing anger, and losing control. I also suspect heavy stimulant use (adderall or even coke) that plays a role in his behavior. But even with him, I don’t see an evil person. I see someone singular, struggling with deep self-worth issues that sometimes manifest as narcissistic traits, particularly vulnerable or covert narcissism.
He wants to achieve something big in his life. He is repelled by mediocrity and mundane life. She is the same. Billy seems more conscious of his actions and, in that regard, more responsible for them. I believe he’s deeply tortured in general, but his desire for a grandiose, meaningful life is currently taking over spiritual breakthrough. He is very ambitious. I don’t see an intention to hurt. I do believe that if he learned how to make peace with himself and regulate his emotions and forgive, he would actually be a fantastic human being. And I believe he will, when he’s much older, after realizing that the success he finally achieved didn’t make him feel complete.
They both seem genuine when it comes to love, family, relationships, and the desire to connect with people on a spiritual level. They both need each other. He needs someone to protect and she needs someone who carries some of her burder and obsessions. They are both dreamers and wounded warriors. They mirror each other, for the best and, yes, the worst.
Now, let’s talk about the other people in this story.
Lance Oppenheimer strikes me as very dark. My read is of someone manipulative, selfish, ruthless, and extremely intelligent. And I’ll say it, fuck it: based on what I’ve seen, he’s not someone I would feel comfortable leaving kids alone with. As much as Liz hurts people because of her trauma, I don’t believe she fully realizes it because of the mental prison she lives in. Lance, on the other hand, strikes me as someone very aware of his wrongdoing. And ok with it. That’s much more evil to me.
Amanda seems miserable, kind, melancholic, and emotionally numb. I wonder how much her meds affects her perception. I see someone who appears heavily medicated (SSRIs?) and I wonder about alcohol too. She is numb. She tries to convince herself, and us, that her interpretation of events is the truth. But perception and truth are two different things. And that’s the whole point of the movie. Actors and actresses are often brilliant because they struggle with truth in their personal lives. I love Amanda as an actress, and I see a deeply kind, loyal human being. But man, is she sad and numb. As an actress who benefited from Liz’s story, Amanda also has every incentive to believe Liz is the villain. How ironic, considering the serious allegations and controversies surrounding Lance Oppenheimer, and her other friends.
Nathan Fielder doesn’t strike me as evil, but I find him equally fake. He loves playing the neutral, nice guy, which I don’t believe he is. And he’s smart enough to manipulate narratives and monetize his newfound niche. His movie isn’t an objective documentary. It has a point of view. It’s honestly brilliant. The music. The cuts. The narration. The minimalism. Deliberate framing. He’s constructing a narrative. Nobody can be entirely accurate or neutral, especially not someone who controls what the audience gets to see. He is a gifted storyteller. And his face shows a very smart, detailed, obsessive person.
I think Nathan is ultimately more interested in advancing his own career and life. He is not attractive, charismatic, or charming. His awkward, socially detached persona and great movies are all he has. It’s his entire brand / seduction strategy. It’s what gets him attention, fame, money, women… And I believe he’s perfectly capable of framing people who possess qualities he lacks in an unfavorable light to serve himself. He tells Billy he could have many women, as if a man like Billy were interested in that. Billy is a very deep individual and doesn’t give a shit about a woman just because she’s hot. Nathan, on the other hand, strikes me as someone who never had easy access to women before his recent success. I suspect he may now use that power in superficial ways to boost his fragile ego. Of course Liz and Billy are flawed. Of course they lie. But did they lie more than Nathan, Lance, or even Amanda? Absolutely not, in my opinion. And this brings me to what bothers me most about the entire story.
I don’t think Liz or Billy are bad people. I see them as wounded and deeply flawed. I don’t think Liz is an angel. She isn’t innocent. But she isn’t evil either. And less evil than Lance. And I wish that instead of putting people like her in jail for eleven years, while vastly more powerful people face little or no accountability for their own actions, we would devote this level of scrutiny to the Epstein files and the networks of powerful people implicated in sexual exploitation and abuse. But of course, that would mean confronting the very institutions and individuals who fund our entire society. This isn’t about conspiracy theories. Look at the emails and the documented relationships. The extraordinary number of famous people connected to Epstein’s world, from banking and politics to cultural institutions, museums. The scale of those networks and the absence of any legal repercussion says it all.
And yet, the very same circles of power that escape justice get to participate in shaping public morality, deciding who deserves condemnation and who gets to walk away. That’s what I find truly disturbing. Not that Liz and Billy are flawed, dishonest, or psychologically damaged. But that we live in a society obsessed with exposing the dysfunction of certain individuals while remaining remarkably comfortable with the dysfunction of the powerful and our entire society.